Proposition 8

I never intended to use our blog as a mouthpiece for my political or religious views, because we all have very deep-rooted, privately held beliefs that are not open to persuasion - and most often its best that we “agree to disagree” with our opponents when it comes to the issues we’re most passionate about. But today I’m voicing my bittersweet feelings toward yesterday’s election, not to spark a debate but so I can vent and move on.

I am beyond thrilled that Obama won the presidency, not just for the obvious historic reasons but for the simple fact that I believe he’s someone we can trust, and someone who will take our country in a new and better direction. Jason and I talked last night about the fact that for the first time in our adult lives, we’ll probably tune in to hear the president’s addresses to the nation, watch his press conferences, etc. I hope that we’re re-entering a time when people in this country respect the president and care about what he has to say. I’d like to know what that’s like.

Second to the presidential race, the other battle I was watching most closely was that of Proposition 8 – the ballot to ban gay marriage in California. It’s no secret that I strongly support gay marriage; to me, it’s an equal rights issue. With that said, I fully understand that many people cannot – and never will – accept or understand the idea of gay and lesbian partnerships. This is a polarizing issue with strong ties to religious and moral beliefs, and the people who oppose the idea feel the same level of passion as people who support the idea.

The reason I’m so disappointed in California voters for passing Prop 8 is because of the tactics used to promote the ballot. Around $70 million (total) was spent by both sides to campaign for this measure, and the money spent by the ballot’s supporters was used to advertise outrageous propaganda about the fact that Prop 8 would endanger children, take away free speech, take away religious freedom, and jeopardize the sanctity of marriage.

Essentially they used fear to motivate people to vote in favor of the ban, by claiming that elementary school-age children would be taught about gay marriage in public schools; one commercial went so far as to show a little girl telling her parents that her teacher read the class a story about a prince who married a prince. This idea is absurd on its own, never mind the fact that in California there is something called an opt-out law that allows parents to pull their children from school for the day if they object to an upcoming educational activity for religious or moral reasons. And I heard other Prop 8 supporters claim that there is a correlation between gay marriage and child sexual predators, which is especially infuriating.

The notion that gay marriage would take away religious freedom and freedom of speech is also ridiculous. This was a state initiative only; freedom of religion and freedom of speech are protected under the federal Constitution. In fact, even if gay marriage remained legal in California, no church would be forced to go against its doctrine and marry a gay couple. I can’t even imagine how freedom of speech would be in jeopardy because the two men living next door happen to be gay, so I won’t touch that one.

And the idea that marriage needs to be protected? It seems to me that too many heterosexual couples have already decided that marriage is not a sacred institution. We live in a country where the divorce rate is 50 percent, a country that broadcasts reality shows like Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and The Bachelor, where the intended outcome is for two strangers to “fall in love” and get married within two weeks of meeting each other. The idea of marriage as a life-long commitment has long been eroding.

Not too long ago in this country, the idea of a mixed-race couple was scandalous to many people. We’ve made leaps and bounds toward overcoming this type of intolerance, and today interracial marriage is an accepted norm in most parts of the country. But to me, the same equal rights principles apply to two men or two women who want to marry. I have a lot of gay friends in loving, committed relationships who simply want the same thing as heterosexual couples; to formally and legally establish a life-long union with their partner. This isn’t an unreasonable desire.

So today I feel like our country has taken two steps forward, and California took two steps back. Not all of my friends and family embrace gay marriage, and I accept that. But I think people who oppose gay marriage should simply be honest about their feelings, instead of hiding behind silly propaganda so they can claim to be tolerant people who are only trying to “protect our children.”

It took 40 years from the civil rights movement of the 1960s until the moment when our country elected its first black president. Perhaps in another 40 years we’ll look back on the time when people were discriminated against because of their sexual orientation and shake our heads in disbelief. Even if this type of change happens slowly, I hope it continues to move forward.